'Blame Game now comes with dice'

John Kelso's Sunday column in the Austin, Texas American-Statesman:

Blame Game Now
Comes With Dice

It was precisely when the Republicans started saying not to play the blame game that Gordon Fowler (pictured) and Bill Christofferson decided it was time to play it big-time.

The two yellow-dog Democrats have turned the Blame Game into a board game based on the Hurricane Katrina disaster and resulting screw-up.

"All the people who were to blame decided we shouldn't play the blame game, and we decided, 'Yes, we should, but don't blame us,' " said Fowler, an Austin writer and painter.

The Blame Game board game sells for $10 plus shipping at www.zzzingers.com, with all the money going to Hurricane Katrina victims.

When you play the game, it works pretty much the same way things worked for the poor schleps stuck in New Orleans.

No matter what you roll, you are screwed.

"That's right; you can't win," said Christofferson, a Milwaukee political consultant who served with Fowler in the Marines in Vietnam as a fellow combat correspondent. "It's like being a resident of New Orleans when the storm came.."

When your piece lands on the Gretna Bridge, it says, "Give up food & water, Go back to START." No way outta town there, baby.

"The sheriff did turn people back at the Gretna Bridge and take away their food and water," Christofferson said. "As much as we could, everything in the game is based on what really happened."

Land on the Draw Blame Card space, and you pick up one of those cards to get your marching orders. Here's an example: "Stay on your roof and lose a turn. The rescue helicopters have been diverted for a photo op with the President."

Or, "Wait in line three hours to get help from FEMA. When you get to the front, they give you a piece of paper that says to come back in three days. Lose 2 turns."

Most of the Blame Cards blame Bush.

"If you look at 'em, you'll see that 90 percent of them blame Bush, so he wins that part of the game," Christofferson said.

This all started a couple of weeks ago in Fowler's South Austin kitchen, while he and Christofferson were hashing over the Katrina tragedy and fuming.

"Bill and I were in Vietnam together, and we started watching this thing unfold, and it reminded us of what happened over there," Fowler said. "It took about 10 years over there, and this unfolded in about two days. There was the Tet Offensive. This one we call the Wet Offensive."

Wait. Time for you to pick up another Blame Card. "Some of your family makes it to the Astrodome. Barbara Bush says they 'were underprivileged anyway, so this is working out very well for them.' "

After coming up with the idea, Fowler started drawing and Christofferson started writing. Fowler says it took them only a couple of days to put together the game.

They couldn't afford to waste time, he said. Because of America's short attention span, if you want to sell your product, you've got to strike while the topic is hot.

"When Karl Rove and Tom DeLay get hauled off in handcuffs, we don't want it to mess up our game," Fowler explained. "You know how fickle we are these days about the news."

Sounds like another idea for a board game. How about calling it Neocons Behind Bars?