Preparing for the NRA invasion

Thoughts while battening down the hatches in preparation for an invasion of Milwaukee, beginning today, by the people calling themselves Freedom's Second Army, the National Rifle Association:

-- Why do you suppose they call themselves the National Rifle Assn. instead of the National Gun Assn. or the National Handgun Assn. or the National Assault Rifle Assn.? It's all about marketing. Rifles seem like they have a lot more in common with the muskets the founding fathers were toting when they agreed on the Second Amendment -- which is now interpreted by the NRA to mean you have a constitutional right to bear any gun, anywhere, any time.

-- Some people are going to have to make a tough choice: Do I go to the Wisconsin Republican Party convention or the NRA, or can I work in both? There's no doubt plenty of overlap. Appropriately, the GOP has chosen Appleton, hometown of Joe McCarthy, for its sessions, while the NRA is in Milwaukee, Wisconsin's murder capital and shooting gallery.

-- If they are Freedom's Second Army, and since they love to tote weapons, and there are millions of them, maybe the NRA could take over border security and free up the National Guard for the war in Iraq. Or vice versa.

-- The Gun Guys, the NRA's nemesis, wonder what the average salary of NRA members is, after revealing thet NRA President Wayne LaPierre pulls down a million dollars a year in salary and perks. The Gun Guys calculate that it takes the dues of 35,000 members just to pay him.

-- Be careful out there in Milwaukee this weekend. There are going to be tens of thousands of gun-lovers on the streets, and it's a safe bet that more than a few of them will have a gun handy, despite the fact that concealed weapons aren't legal in Wisconsin, one of just a couple of states that have held out, thanks to Gov. Jim Doyle's vetoes. So stay cool when you're driving, don't whip anyone the bird, and call everyone "Sir" or "Ma'am" if you're having a disagreement. Oh, and keep your children and pets off the streets.