Monday, April 04, 2005

Bucher in Bizarro World

Does anyone really think the way to reduce gun violence is to put more guns on the street?

Meet Paul Bucher, Waukesha County DA and would-be Buckyland AG, who tells the New York Times, no less, that, "We need to put more guns in the hands of law-abiding citizens."

More guns, that's the answer. Wish I'd have thought of that.

Bucher hasn't always thought that, he told the Times. Just a couple of years ago, he was testifying against concealed carry laws (which put him on the side of just about every law enforcement professional in the state. They say concealed weapons put police officers at risk.)

But now he's seen the light. If everybody had a gun, Bucher explains, we'd all be able to fight back. "If the person you're fighting has a gun and all you have is your fists, you lose," he said. (He really did say this stuff. Read it yourself. ) It's like he's entered Bizarro World, where everything is cracked and more than a little off kilter.

But, just for fun, let's say he's right. If non-criminals had guns we could protect ourselves. Well, why conceal them, then? Why not wear that .45 in a holster where everyone can see it, so they are not tempted to mess with you?

There is one problem. All guns are not created equal. If you have a .45 and the person you're fighting (to use Bucher's phrase) has an AK-47, you're still going to lose. So maybe we need to standardize it and only sell one kind of gun, so it's sure to be a fair fight.

One argument for concealed carry says that if the guns are concealed the bad guys won't know who has a gun and who doesn't, so they'll leave us all alone. I am a little skeptical of that. Unconcealed carry makes more sense, don't you think?

There is another way around that problem, of course. Make it mandatory for everyone to pack heat (that's Mickey Spillane talk for carry a gun).

Extending the Bucher theory of guns=safety: If everyone had a gun, gun violence would end. That's how it worked in the Old West, in the days of six-gun law, as I recall. Everybody had a gun, and no one ever started any trouble, right?

And if everyone attending church services at the Sheraton hotel in Brookfield a few weeks ago had had a 9mm weapon, instead of just the killer, who fired 22 shots in less than a minute, how many shots would have been fired? How many people would have died?

Bucher apparently thinks the number would be smaller. I am not so sure.

One final note: You can't help but wonder whether Bucher's conversion to all-out gun nut had anything to do with the fact that he has to win a Republican primary for attorney general, and in a GOP primary, the rule of thumb is "the farther right, the better, as long as you don't fall off the edge of the world, which is flat." This may be nothing more than shameless pandering for the primary vote. That would be easier to swallow than the idea that Bucher really believes that the cure for gun violence is more guns.

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