'I'm not your guy' -- Green's got that right

Congressman Mark Green has a line he loves to use lately, whether in the recent debate or in his new TV spot.

If you want blah, blah, blah, he says, I'm not your guy. There are several variations; the TV commercial says something about if you want higher taxes, I'm not your guy.

Since Green also says in his new ad that he wants to be positive, not "negative like Jim Doyle," you'd think he wouldn't put his new positive spot right above three negative ones on his campaign website. Whatever.

Knowing his people are busy, I thought they might appreciate help with their next script, which continues the same theme and message:

Hi, I'm Mark Green, and I'm sick of dirty, negative campaigns like the kind run by that lying, sleazy, unethical, crooked skunk Jim Doyle.

I'm a different kind of candidate.

If you want to cure diseases through stem cell research, I'm not your guy.

If you think women should make their own reproductive choices, I'm not your guy.

If you think you should be able to buy safe, affordable prescription drugs from Canada, I'm not your guy.

If you think the war in Iraq is a waste of American lives and hundreds of billions of dollars, I'm not your guy.

If you think the minimum wage should be high enough to get people who work full-time out of poverty, I'm not your guy.

If you think banks should pay their fair share of state taxes, I'm not your guy.

If you want someone to look out for consumers, instead of giving billions in tax breaks to Big Oil, I'm not your guy.

If you want someone who will help middle-income people and working families instead of the wealthiest people in America, I'm not your guy.

And if you want someone who will level with you and tell you what he really stands for, instead of dancing around the issues, I'm not your guy, either.

Fortunately, there's an alternative.

Jim Doyle's your guy.